AHHH!!!

          I am wayyy too busy for life. I don't know how to control it. If anyone has tips on how to eat, breath, fix this blog, coupon, sew, cook, clean, shop, feed and bathe kids without my head just popping right off please share them with me! Thanks in advance.

PS: I really don't even have to make time to eat or sleep as long as my dang kids can make it to school on time in the AM.

What being a mom has taught me

       Before I became a mommy I thought I knew everything there was to know in life. But after being a mom for almost 11 years I now know I was wrong here are just a few things I motherhood has taught me so far.

-Cute tops are not made for mothers
-Formula does not come out of whites no matter how much oxi clean or biz you use.
-Baby carrots make good dye for just about anything.
-If your child is constipated all you need to do it put a nice new outfit on him.
-No matter how many times you tell the dog to change the baby he wont.
-Pennies do not come out of seat belt buckles.
-If you use a good conditioner you can go for days without washing your hair.
-If you breastfeed make sure you wear two shirts to bed.
-After a doing it for a few years you can live off of only 4 hours of sleep.
-As soon as it is nap time the phone will ring, so you better unplug it.
-A toddler bed maybe small but a 5ft 2in woman can sleep on it nicely.
-4 children, 2 adults, 1 dog and the occasional cat can all sleep on a California king along with various stuffed animals
-Broccoli smells like dead mice when left in a lunch box for a week.
-You can program your body to hold it for at least 12 hours, if you really have to go and you are feeding a baby you can hold him and sit on a potty real quick.
-The devil is the one who put candy by the cash registers every-freaking-where!
-Whoever started the phrase sleeping like a baby obviously never had one!
-"Because" is not an acceptable answer for a 3 year old.
-French fries and milk don't mix well if a child was sick the day before.
-Things always vanish the day you need them.
-Stickers do not come off of car windows.
-Girls are messier than boys.
-Pajamas don't have to match.
-Hoodies are a wardrobe staple.
-Cartoons after 1990 will always suck.
-Bread's best buy date is just a suggestion.
-White shirts are a wear only once item for moms and kids.
-A 2 year old can make a leak proof sippy cup leak.
-That same 2 year old can make a new car look old in less than 3 months.
-Strollers are a big waste of money.
-No matter how good of a cook you are a child is always going to want to eat mac&cheese, PB& J or salad. If you feed him that for dinner the parenting nazi is not going to come get you. 
-Cats hate baths, strollers and trampolines.
-After a cell phone survives the bottom of the river, a 2 year old can still manage to break it.
-Vaseline does not come out of hair no matter what dish liquid you use.
-Monsters do exist; they steal socks, shoes and sippy cup tops.
-Purses are over rated, you can hold everything you need in a diaper bag.
-It is possible to feed a baby/return calls/eat dinner and read the mail all at the same time.
-Play-Doh does not come out of the carpet.
-Coke and a sponge can clean crayons, snot and dried milk off of windows.

All this exciting stuff and I still have 17 more years to go!

I am a statistic wrapped in a juice box!

      After a whole mess of baby daddy drama we split (I don't take returns). His father and sister saw the baby on the weekends and he ran the streets while I worked. Then I ended up trying to be 18 and went out after work some. Not the smartest thing, but I wanted a life. I didn't get in much trouble but had a few late nights. (I may skip a few things here but lets just say I did it again...) By 20 I had a son and was married. It didn't last long due to him being not ready to be married. So once again I was single but living in my own place with 2 kids and working 2 jobs paying daycare alone. I had gotten my ged because by this time I was to busy working so I could live. Yet I wasn't even bar legal yet!
         
                            Fast forward to 2011 my now half grown daughter is 10 and a honor roll student. She is healthy and knows I am much younger than other parents. I am now married to a man who is not the babies father and my children understand that. We now have additional children, we were in a relationship before I was with the "baby daddy" so he knows most of my life story.

                     But whats was with this crazy-messed up-not so happy- life story? My reasons for posting this out in the open are number 1 I have never really told anyone much of this and I feel better to get it off my chest and number 2 I am sick of seeing and hearing how "Teen Moms" are perceived on television. There are a few different types of teen mothers. I know of a few that never grew up and they let their mothers take custody of the child or keep their baby but could care less about taking care of them. Some choose other options and move on to better themselves and some just do it all over again with the same dumb ass guy. Just last winter I went to the school for parents day and I was the only parent the other 2 that showed up where grandparents. I didn't know why until another little girl said to me... "Me and my three friends have something in common, our dads are in jail and we live with our grandparents." I was confused as was those poor little girls. Seems most of them had been legally adopted and their names changed. So I am pretty happy to say I wasn't a statistic in that area.

                       Now I do currently stay home with my younger children, due to money and I also already feel as if I don't spend enough time with them. If I had an away from home job I would be paying 200$+ in day care a week and my poor house would be in a wreck more so than it is.Unlike the girls on "Teen Mom" my hair isn't professionally colored, I haven't had my nails done in years and I don't buy clothes for myself. It isn't a money issue even though it would be better if I finished school and had a degree. But it is the matter of putting my kids first which is something I will and have always done. I also look and feel twice my age. I still get spoken to as a teenager when it comes to the school or random people who do not know me. I also almost feel like everything I do for my oldest I have to do it better to prove to her and the world that I am not 16 anymore. I am not proud that my life started at 16, I have missed alot of important things. I will always regret dropping out of high school and missing prom, I also dropped out of college because I had to move miles away due to rent. I do miss "home" and being a teen but I do not regret taking care of my responsibilities.

Here are a few statistics from candiesfoundation.org

• Fewer than half of teen mothers receive a high school diploma – fewer than 2% earn a college degree by age 30.

• Teen mothers face incredible challenges. They are more likely to be unemployed and live in poverty.

• 8 out of 10 fathers don’t marry the mother of their child.

• Daughters of young teen mothers are 3 times more likely to become teen mothers themselves.

• Sons of teen mothers are twice as likely to end up in prison.


I just may be a statistic but with this I am hoping some mother, daughter or teacher takes it to heart and talks to their child because mine didn't. Honestly sex was never talked about at home or school I still can't even say the word. I will say being a mom at Any age isn't a walk in the park but as a teen it is harder. I am pretty sure my sons won't end up in jail. The oldest is pretty darn smart when it comes to right and wrong. I am also damn sure my daughters will not get knocked-up because I will lock them in a room until they are done with college and make them wear ugly clothes as long as I can. As for the rest, what can you say. As for me I "chose" the path for my life now I just have to live it the best I can. Thanks for wasting you time here with me. I hope to post on a lighter note next time.
  XOXO

No fairy tale here.......... part 4

   I really don't remember much of the hospital stay. My mother moved back into our home and took a week off to help me. I didn't have many problems within the first few weeks but I do remember looking like some one threw me down a flight of stairs. I had bruises all over my arms from IVs and my hair was falling out. I also was supposed to be going back to high school at 2 weeks postpartum, I did my school work at home and turned it in. Just to find out I was automatically failed in 3 classes for attendance. I had no clue what to do about school I could start a private or home school but with no job and a new baby who was going to pay for it and watch her? Then I found out I had to wait till the baby was 6 weeks old and had shots to put her in day care. That would be after the first of the year and school was going to be halfway over, so I was told to wait till next fall. So what do I do now? I was 16 and wasn't enrolled in school or working. Heck I didn't even have my drivers license yet.  My boyfriend was younger than me but had a car and license so when it came to having to take the baby to the doctor or go to the store I had to depend on him and he drove a Datsun that was older than me. I needed my own car for me to get around and the baby to be safe. Some how I talked my mom in buying me a new red 4 door Chevy. I was super stoked but wait I still had no license. I talked my dad into taking me in my new car. I passed the test then came the end to get my papers to take to the dmv and I was stopped in my tracks, turns out you can't have you license unless you are enrolled in school. But I wasn't... I managed to tell them that I was a mom with a dependent and I had to get a letter from the child's doctor to prove that. Then I was allowed my license.  

             
             While I was waiting for a new school year me and the child's father were offered to move in his dads rental house. Seeing how he had a job and we lived pretty far away from each other we decided to move in together. Moving out at 16 really isn't that hard if you know the landlord. The power/phone/gas co will set it up in your name with no age verification. But paying them is another thing. My bf had a pretty good job at 16 but with odd hours. I was kind of scared to be alone in that house. So he found a full time day job closer to the house. Every week I got his pay check and took out some for bills, gas and groceries for the week. But by the end of the month we where eating ramen noodles and oatmeal. I am very stubborn and proud so I never asked my parents or family for money. I ended up getting a night time job waiting tables. I was doing pretty good by myself then till the baby daddy took my hours of working as his time to party. He got very stupid and started hanging around the wrong people. I only lived with him for around 9 months then while he was at work I moved out to my moms. I shoved all i could in my car. But I left some of my things and never got them back. The baby-daddy drama never stopped. On one hand I wanted to run as far away as I could and on the other I felt bad because It wasn't fair that the baby wouldn't have a father.

                    Back at my moms I saved enough for the enrollment fee for daycare and I re-enrolled myself in school. Every morning I would get me and the baby ready I would drop her off and I would head to school, after school I had to be at work by 4. So most days I would get my mother to pick her up from day care and watch her till I got home which was after 10 and I still had to do home work and take a shower. That seemed to all work for a while until sleep and not being able to spend time with my child caught up with me. I started being late for school and had to do my class work in Retract, which is basically a jail in school. I got my work done but you couldn't take test or learn anything. That lasted a week at a time so when I made it back to class I was behind again. I still really liked school but by this time I was 18 and making up some 10th grade classes. I was never going to catch up. Then for a whole week the baby was sick I didn't have a stay at home mom or grandparent, even if I did it was my child who was sick so it was my job to take care of her. So that's what I did and when she was better I took my self back up to the school and dropped out. It sucked.... In the hallway I ran into most of my friends. I really didn't know that was the last time I would speak to them.. I picked up day shift at work and that was my life.. I worked from 10-4:30 mon-sat when I wasn't working I was fighting with the ex and spending time with the baby. While all my friends were going out and getting ready for prom I was home doing  laundry and washing clothes. How was I an old lady at 18?

What you don't see on TV .. Part 3

            I went in to be induced on Monday the 16th. I didn't know how long it was going to take to have a baby. My grandmother who is also an RN came up to the hospital and so did the fathers sister they both lived several miles away. They put me on pitocin to induce labor but it wasn't working. The Dr broke my water and we just waited. This went on for several hours. Then I was given an epidural (I am still not sure why because I never felt a contraction). Everyone had left the hospital but my mom. Heck nothing was happening so I didn't mind. Finally the next morning the doctor came in and said if I didn't have her in 5 hours I was going to have a cesarean but I didn't want that. I was only 16 I had never had a surgery in my life and really didn't want a huge scar across what used to be my 5'1" 115lb body. I was past annoyed I hadn't ate or showered in days. I sucked on so many ice chips I had to pee but I couldn't because I had in a catheter. I also had so many monitors and IVs hooked up I couldn't get comfortable to sleep. I smelled the oddest thing it was a sour smell with a hint of barbecue. Later would I know it was the smell of a non-showered person and povidone- iodine. A nurse finally comes in and says the heart rate is dropping and we have to do something now. I was worried, What have I done was it my fault?

                        The Dr comes in and says we are going for a c-section and I freak out! I started yelling and crying. My grandmother comes in she has heard everything outside the room and she tells them I have gotten to far and it would just make things worse. Then my grandma and the doctor get in a knock out drag out in the room. She was a very patient person until that day. They went so far as to kick her off of the L&D floor. So after the smoke settled I started to push. It is nothing like what you see on TV! I didn't know I had to move more than my head. I also would not keep my legs in stirrups. I was in pain and the doctor said another rude thing "It didn't hurt getting it in there." (I am pretty sure I kicked a few people. It should have been the doctor.) But still the baby wasn't coming down and they had to use the vacuum extractor. They put it on and out popped a little baby but I never heard her cry. The nurse took the baby to the table to weigh it, I heard someone say 6lbs 12oz. Then I heard a small noise, she held the baby up for me to see then said they had to take her to another room. I was on so much medication and so exhausted I wasn't sure what had just happened. But I did hear the doctor utter the words, "babies having babies." The nurse put a bracelet on my left hand and asked who to give the other one to. I said my mom which I thought was smart seeing how she worked in the business tower there and I figured she would be around. Little did I know that was stupid.

             Everyone left the room but the father, he decided to stay and bitch at me for the bracelet thing. He walked out and I stood up to go to the bathroom, about the time to got there a nurse came in and yelled at me for standing. I looked around and saw what looked like an massacre had occurred. I freaked out and she stripped the bed and redressed me. The father of the child came in and the nurse yelled at him for leaving me alone. After that I managed to fall asleep and woke up on a different bed in a different room. I just had a baby... I don't think it had hit me yet. I was honestly hungry and very sleepy. I also hadn't held it yet. Then a knock on the door and there she was head full of dark brown hair and blue eyes. Alyssa Brooke was her name but it didn't mean anything, she wasn't named after anyone just a name that we both agreed on. I felt guilty for that. A nurse explained that she had been in for so long after my water been broken that she needed oxygen but she looks fine now. The nurse gave me a bottle and told me to feed her. Then I remembered I had never fed or changed a baby in my life! What am I doing??? Who is this tiny little person in my hands?


            

Part 2 The A word

   

 *This is Part 2 scroll down for mindless tv and part #1*

   The next day was a Saturday and seeing how I was only 15 and didn't have a car. I wasn't going anywhere. I stayed in my room most of the day, which wasn't really my room because I was at my moms apartment. She came to me and asked If I wanted to go eat and I said "Whatever". So we ran to the local sit-down joint and ate without saying anything to each other but "Are you ready?" In the car we talk about it a little bit and she pushed adoption on me and I brought up the fact of how my sister contacted her by a letter when she was 16 and I didn't want that to happen to me and my child. I also didn't want to get married and not be able to have children just remember the one I gave away. I told her it wasn't just a puppy I got for my birthday and didn't like anymore. It was a person. I don't think she ever said the other A word I am pretty sure I was so far along that it wasn't and option. So I pretty much stated what I was going to do and she never spoke much more about it.

            By now my whole family knew, I had only told three girlfriends and my best guy friend. I didn't care for the whole world to know. That summer I finished summer school and got prepared for a new high school. Every summer for my birthday my aunt took me shopping for school clothes. It is usually pretty fun but when you are used to being in the latest trends and starting a new year it isn't fun searching for maternity pants. When I put them on you could definitely tell I was expecting. For my birthday my cousin always took me, my aunt and mom out for dinner. I went to my aunts waiting on her to cuss me for all I was worth but she didn't.. She gave me a laundry basket full of baby lotions,soaps,and a copy of What To Expect When you are Expecting.. I was confused. But I am pretty sure they had all reached the point where if they couldn't avoid it they should embrace it. We went to dinner and had cake, I still have the photo of me in my ugly maternity shirt and bloated face.

                           A few weeks later was the start of school. I was in a new place, I knew most of the people there, the father of the child I was carrying also went to that school. I guess I should also add we were in different groups. I went to a white collar school and he had just moved from the wrong side of the tracks. Any one who knew me was shocked we were together and didn't know the rest. It also stirred up a lot of  arguments even though I was expecting his child. He wasn't the best person to be around and I saw that when went to school together. But that's a whole different story. At school I went on as always but by this time I was 8 months pregnant. I took art that was a fun class except I had to sit on a really high stool. That was a little uncomfortable. I never told my teachers I was pregnant. I didn't want to be treated differently. One afternoon I was on the way to a class that was on the third floor in the third building. (That place was huge) The teacher for that class was pretty rude and I was late. She chewed me out pretty good I was almost in tears. Then a girl I had known for years yelled "She's Pregnant!" I knew that she was only trying to stand up for me but I felt like she put me on Jerry Springer. We were still in the hallway but that happened to be the only class that the father was in. So he jumped up and may have said something uncalled for I am not sure I was too upset by the call-out to remember. So I continued to class and went to school as normal. I was doing pretty great that year and I never did great in school. Then my doctor appointments got closer together and my blood presser started to go up. I looked like the Michelin man. I started missing school the doctor put me on bed rest. Then my last appointment he said If I didn't have the baby by Monday (my due date) to come in at midnight. He also said not to eat anything after 5pm that day. I am not sure if I was ready for this but it was time. At home I didn't know what to pack I haven't even broken a bone much less stayed in a hospital over night. I remember I packed a stuffed bear my dad had bought me when I was 7. I said it was for good luck....

*Part 3 will post in the morning* 

Mindless Tv and part 1..

                If you follow me on twitter you will know I watch a little bit of trash tv. I am not sure why I watch mindless television, I guess it is my only escape from my homebody life. Last night the show Teen Mom 2  premiered which is a follow up to season 2 of 16 and Pregnant. These shows always make me cry. Not only because I have a daughter, but because I was sixteen and pregnant.
                 

           At the age of only fifteen I got pregnant. It wasn't planned and no one would have ever guessed it. I attended a public junior high, had a tons of friends and never got into any real trouble. I went to class as always and I never told a soul in my school. I managed to get medicaid for me and the baby, all it required was a form that I could return by mail. I picked out a doctor and made an appointment. All without a guardians consent. At this time my parents lived in separate houses so neither one was ever around me that much. In ninth grade I fell behind and had to fill a credit in summer school. The first day of summer school was June 12th. That morning as my mother was backing out of her drive I grabbed the shifter and I slammed the car in park. She proceeded to back up again with only giving me a look, then I did it again this went on for two more times until she finally said, "Whats wrong?" I burst into tears. Then she flat out said, "Your pregnant." not a question, a statement. She didn't seem mad or shocked it was like she knew. I will say I was not the first teen I knew who had gotten pregnant but surely the most unexpected. I honestly thought I couldn't get pregnant and he didn't,* (you know).

           One of the reasons I told my mother was because his father knew, and made it my responsibility to tell my parents also my appointment was that week. So after our short conversation that took place in the car. She went on and took me to summer school then went to work and called everyone in our family. That Friday was my appointment. I was scared to death. I had never even been to that type of doctor. As soon as I got back to his office the questions started; Did you know? How old is he? Does he know? Have you done drugs? Have you been tested? Do your parents know him? I felt like I was going to die. Then came the exam and I knew I was going to die. It was the most painful thing I had ever felt. During the exam the doctor made the remark, "I could probably feel it's head." *As of this moment my mother did not know how far along I was. But I had a pretty good idea.* After he did the exam the nurse took me to have an ultrasound to confirm how far along I was and if the child was fully developed. I saw a little black and white blob of static and heard a heartbeat that was beating almost as fast as mine. My mom wasn't in the room. I am pretty sure the doctor took her to discuss my options.

                   When I was done they gave me a few photos and a bag with tums and prenatal vitamins. I went to the front window and made my next appointment, which wasn't easy seeing how I had to make it for a time I wasn't in school and my mother could get off. After that I walked out worried anyone who saw what was in my hand would know my little secret. We got in the elevator; which is the worst place for two people who never speak to be alone it. After the door closed and we stood alone she said the question I will never forget  "You are going to give it up right?" I started crying after being as calm as I could, for what felt like a lifetime in that office. Then I started yelling at her about my older sister who she gave custody up to her father when she was only two. We proceeded to her car, she drove to my aunts house, they talked in the kitchen for what felt like hours. I went and sat by the pool until it was time to go home. I didn't speak to anyone for the rest of that night.

    *You may comment as you please. I will finish this story throughout the week.*

Living the Glamorous Life

      I have this friend who has a sweet job, a cool son and a steady man. She used to live her life through me seeing how I was the first to get married, buy a house, have a baby and so forth. So like a fool she thinks I know everything there is to know about life. So when I call her to speak to someone besides Dora, she starts to bitch about having find work appropriate top and having to get dolled up at 6am everyday. Then whenever I say something like I want a paying job or remark her going out and her mother watching her son. She says something smart-ass like "But then you can't stay home and expect your bills to get paid." or "We can't all be stay at home mommies." Her comments make it sound like I am Betty Draper tossing back cocktails and getting my hair done then after that I dash home just in time for my husband to bring me a new set of pearls and the nanny has dinner on the table. The truth is I haven't had a drink or my hair done in 23 months and I don't think I have ever gotten a gift for no reason at all much less a nanny! Which would sound glamorous to me but ya know between all the soaps, bon bons and manicures someone has to take care of the laundry, dirty diapers & dishes.

        So what do I do all day? Not much of anything, because after I clean up the oj, pick up the pajamas off the bedroom floor, wash the wet bedsheets, feed the baby, wash dishes, clean up whatever random lotion/makeup/marker the 3yo has gotten into, all while holding a fussy baby and talking to whatever random person who just called me like I have time to chat. Then I get to prep dinner, help with homework, cook, watch them eat dinner (for I am too busy bouncing a baby and chasing cups and spoons that fly off the table), bathe 4 kids, wash clothes, get them in bed, feed the baby and pick up the kitchen again. At some point I pass out on the couch just to wake at 2am to feed the baby and get pissed because I see drinks still on the table from last night so I have to pick them up. By then I am too exhausted and annoyed to do anything else! Now don't get me wrong my house is far from spotless, it will never be model home clean but I am very good at fake cleaning and organizing mess.

   I know some people may think, "That's a lot of work, if you was such a bother to you than why did you have so many kids?" I didn't have "so many" kids I had just enough. Any mother would understand that. I love being here for all of my children everyday, having dinner all together at home and not having to worry about having enough sick days to get off  to see their play or honor roll assembly.

The truth is I get a lot of other remarks or "ohs" about being a stay at home mom, like it is such a shock to see a mother stay with her children during the day in the 21st century. I am not lazy or uneducated, It honestly started out as an maternity thing with child number 3 then we moved and it was cheaper to stay home than the price for child care and gas. One day I will get everything cleaned and organize the way I want. I may even get a paying job if my next get rich fast plan doesn't work out. But as for right now I like being a stay at home mom, pony tail, diaper cream manicure and all.

Money Saving Momma!

  Okay New Year New Me!  Yeah we have all heard that bs before! I never stick to resolutions so this isn't a resolution it is a required lifestyle change. It is required due to the fact I am so broke I can't even afford the gas to make it to the store. So I am going to change my ways by couponing and stock piling so I don't run out of  items and have to run to the local Dollar General at 9pm just to spend way 10$ on a pack of diapers. I feel like such an idiot because this time last year I spent over 100$ on diapers before BabyJ was born, I did use coupons but not to my advantage. I am not by any means great at this but I am going to give it a try, because I am very very broke, like behind on bills broke. I have a previous post on wasting $$ with coupons, and yes I still somewhat agree with that. I don't want to or plan to buy 8 things of cat food just to get 10$ back to use on things I need. I also don't care to kick a small child out of a room due to the fact I filled it with toilet paper. So I will post here once a week what I saved on things I need. Lets call it An Idiots Guide to Saving.