How and when to Break-up

       I know I am not the seeker of all truths or anything but some people really confuse me. You know how when your life long friend lies to you and you trash her whole way of life? (Guilty) Or when two people split up and you tell your bff that you never liked that sorry excuse for a guy anyway. Why do we do that? I have seen it get pretty darn ugly. Things like telling the cops they do drugs, getting them fired, busting all the air out of their tires. 

      I think of it like this. If it was a good friend you had to know she was like that anyway, so stop talking to her and if she never calls you back than good riddance. If it was a relationship that's when things get kind-of tricky. We all start fights and break-up for stupid reasons. You are not perfect, he is not perfect, maybe that's why you get along. But what are some of those reasons. I have a small list of a few reasons and solutions. 

1. You are looking for a reason he is not right. Facebook stalking, driving by his work, asking about some "girl". 

Why?!?! Do you know he cheated? Do you need proof? Ask him! and if he did pack his shit and change your #.

2. Little things. Toilet seats, tooth paste, dishes, trash. 

Are you Martha Stewart?!?! Does he bitch about your make-up all over the phone, shoes taking over the closet, headbands and ponytail holders all over the house? No?!? Then shut-it, close-it, wash-em and take it out. 

3. But "We never see each other". Crying Because you never spend time together?!?!

Are you 13??!?! Most adults have a job, bills to pay and children! So between little Johnny's football practice

and working 7-4 not including the time to get home he never gets time to himself much-less you.

4. He "changed". Looks, actions, weight, clothing, mood.

Have you looked in the mirror honey??!? I don't know about you but after 15 years, 4 kids and a year of hell, I sure have! I look like and old maid, am lazy as a cow, dress like one of those before shots on What not to Wear and am pretty much a B* 24/7.

5. He did it! Cheated, hit you, sold the car without asking, took all your money and ran, etc.

Then knock his ass down and call 911. Then after they pick up his stupid ass. Press charges, show up in court and move far a away. Never talk to his stupid ass again. Never! If you have kids go to court tell them what happened and they will work the situation out to figure out the best plan for the children. But do not stand up for him. 

Either way the situation goes, don't be stupid. Petty fights, name calling, running off with the "new guy" it's all dumb. If you have kids, your children will remember it. They Can her you and know who you are talking about. The next idiot will not be perfect he will still leave the seat up. That "newness" will ware off and you will be stuck with another idiot. 

*This was a post of of humor meant for those crazy single gals of mine who just can't find the one price charming in tin foil.*

However abuse is not a joke and if you or someone you know is dealing with abuse please call your local DHR, police or http://cawc.org/ for help. 

What being a mom has taught me

       Before I became a mommy I thought I knew everything there was to know in life. But after being a mom for almost 11 years I now know I was wrong here are just a few things I motherhood has taught me so far.

-Cute tops are not made for mothers
-Formula does not come out of whites no matter how much oxi clean or biz you use.
-Baby carrots make good dye for just about anything.
-If your child is constipated all you need to do it put a nice new outfit on him.
-No matter how many times you tell the dog to change the baby he wont.
-Pennies do not come out of seat belt buckles.
-If you use a good conditioner you can go for days without washing your hair.
-If you breastfeed make sure you wear two shirts to bed.
-After a doing it for a few years you can live off of only 4 hours of sleep.
-As soon as it is nap time the phone will ring, so you better unplug it.
-A toddler bed maybe small but a 5ft 2in woman can sleep on it nicely.
-4 children, 2 adults, 1 dog and the occasional cat can all sleep on a California king along with various stuffed animals
-Broccoli smells like dead mice when left in a lunch box for a week.
-You can program your body to hold it for at least 12 hours, if you really have to go and you are feeding a baby you can hold him and sit on a potty real quick.
-The devil is the one who put candy by the cash registers every-freaking-where!
-Whoever started the phrase sleeping like a baby obviously never had one!
-"Because" is not an acceptable answer for a 3 year old.
-French fries and milk don't mix well if a child was sick the day before.
-Things always vanish the day you need them.
-Stickers do not come off of car windows.
-Girls are messier than boys.
-Pajamas don't have to match.
-Hoodies are a wardrobe staple.
-Cartoons after 1990 will always suck.
-Bread's best buy date is just a suggestion.
-White shirts are a wear only once item for moms and kids.
-A 2 year old can make a leak proof sippy cup leak.
-That same 2 year old can make a new car look old in less than 3 months.
-Strollers are a big waste of money.
-No matter how good of a cook you are a child is always going to want to eat mac&cheese, PB& J or salad. If you feed him that for dinner the parenting nazi is not going to come get you. 
-Cats hate baths, strollers and trampolines.
-After a cell phone survives the bottom of the river, a 2 year old can still manage to break it.
-Vaseline does not come out of hair no matter what dish liquid you use.
-Monsters do exist; they steal socks, shoes and sippy cup tops.
-Purses are over rated, you can hold everything you need in a diaper bag.
-It is possible to feed a baby/return calls/eat dinner and read the mail all at the same time.
-Play-Doh does not come out of the carpet.
-Coke and a sponge can clean crayons, snot and dried milk off of windows.

All this exciting stuff and I still have 17 more years to go!