Sunday, January 23, 2011

No fairy tale here.......... part 4

   I really don't remember much of the hospital stay. My mother moved back into our home and took a week off to help me. I didn't have many problems within the first few weeks but I do remember looking like some one threw me down a flight of stairs. I had bruises all over my arms from IVs and my hair was falling out. I also was supposed to be going back to high school at 2 weeks postpartum, I did my school work at home and turned it in. Just to find out I was automatically failed in 3 classes for attendance. I had no clue what to do about school I could start a private or home school but with no job and a new baby who was going to pay for it and watch her? Then I found out I had to wait till the baby was 6 weeks old and had shots to put her in day care. That would be after the first of the year and school was going to be halfway over, so I was told to wait till next fall. So what do I do now? I was 16 and wasn't enrolled in school or working. Heck I didn't even have my drivers license yet.  My boyfriend was younger than me but had a car and license so when it came to having to take the baby to the doctor or go to the store I had to depend on him and he drove a Datsun that was older than me. I needed my own car for me to get around and the baby to be safe. Some how I talked my mom in buying me a new red 4 door Chevy. I was super stoked but wait I still had no license. I talked my dad into taking me in my new car. I passed the test then came the end to get my papers to take to the dmv and I was stopped in my tracks, turns out you can't have you license unless you are enrolled in school. But I wasn't... I managed to tell them that I was a mom with a dependent and I had to get a letter from the child's doctor to prove that. Then I was allowed my license.  

             While I was waiting for a new school year me and the child's father were offered to move in his dads rental house. Seeing how he had a job and we lived pretty far away from each other we decided to move in together. Moving out at 16 really isn't that hard if you know the landlord. The power/phone/gas co will set it up in your name with no age verification. But paying them is another thing. My bf had a pretty good job at 16 but with odd hours. I was kind of scared to be alone in that house. So he found a full time day job closer to the house. Every week I got his pay check and took out some for bills, gas and groceries for the week. But by the end of the month we where eating ramen noodles and oatmeal. I am very stubborn and proud so I never asked my parents or family for money. I ended up getting a night time job waiting tables. I was doing pretty good by myself then till the baby daddy took my hours of working as his time to party. He got very stupid and started hanging around the wrong people. I only lived with him for around 9 months then while he was at work I moved out to my moms. I shoved all i could in my car. But I left some of my things and never got them back. The baby-daddy drama never stopped. On one hand I wanted to run as far away as I could and on the other I felt bad because It wasn't fair that the baby wouldn't have a father.

                    Back at my moms I saved enough for the enrollment fee for daycare and I re-enrolled myself in school. Every morning I would get me and the baby ready I would drop her off and I would head to school, after school I had to be at work by 4. So most days I would get my mother to pick her up from day care and watch her till I got home which was after 10 and I still had to do home work and take a shower. That seemed to all work for a while until sleep and not being able to spend time with my child caught up with me. I started being late for school and had to do my class work in Retract, which is basically a jail in school. I got my work done but you couldn't take test or learn anything. That lasted a week at a time so when I made it back to class I was behind again. I still really liked school but by this time I was 18 and making up some 10th grade classes. I was never going to catch up. Then for a whole week the baby was sick I didn't have a stay at home mom or grandparent, even if I did it was my child who was sick so it was my job to take care of her. So that's what I did and when she was better I took my self back up to the school and dropped out. It sucked.... In the hallway I ran into most of my friends. I really didn't know that was the last time I would speak to them.. I picked up day shift at work and that was my life.. I worked from 10-4:30 mon-sat when I wasn't working I was fighting with the ex and spending time with the baby. While all my friends were going out and getting ready for prom I was home doing  laundry and washing clothes. How was I an old lady at 18?

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