Friday, January 14, 2011

Part 2 The A word


 *This is Part 2 scroll down for mindless tv and part #1*

   The next day was a Saturday and seeing how I was only 15 and didn't have a car. I wasn't going anywhere. I stayed in my room most of the day, which wasn't really my room because I was at my moms apartment. She came to me and asked If I wanted to go eat and I said "Whatever". So we ran to the local sit-down joint and ate without saying anything to each other but "Are you ready?" In the car we talk about it a little bit and she pushed adoption on me and I brought up the fact of how my sister contacted her by a letter when she was 16 and I didn't want that to happen to me and my child. I also didn't want to get married and not be able to have children just remember the one I gave away. I told her it wasn't just a puppy I got for my birthday and didn't like anymore. It was a person. I don't think she ever said the other A word I am pretty sure I was so far along that it wasn't and option. So I pretty much stated what I was going to do and she never spoke much more about it.

            By now my whole family knew, I had only told three girlfriends and my best guy friend. I didn't care for the whole world to know. That summer I finished summer school and got prepared for a new high school. Every summer for my birthday my aunt took me shopping for school clothes. It is usually pretty fun but when you are used to being in the latest trends and starting a new year it isn't fun searching for maternity pants. When I put them on you could definitely tell I was expecting. For my birthday my cousin always took me, my aunt and mom out for dinner. I went to my aunts waiting on her to cuss me for all I was worth but she didn't.. She gave me a laundry basket full of baby lotions,soaps,and a copy of What To Expect When you are Expecting.. I was confused. But I am pretty sure they had all reached the point where if they couldn't avoid it they should embrace it. We went to dinner and had cake, I still have the photo of me in my ugly maternity shirt and bloated face.

                           A few weeks later was the start of school. I was in a new place, I knew most of the people there, the father of the child I was carrying also went to that school. I guess I should also add we were in different groups. I went to a white collar school and he had just moved from the wrong side of the tracks. Any one who knew me was shocked we were together and didn't know the rest. It also stirred up a lot of  arguments even though I was expecting his child. He wasn't the best person to be around and I saw that when went to school together. But that's a whole different story. At school I went on as always but by this time I was 8 months pregnant. I took art that was a fun class except I had to sit on a really high stool. That was a little uncomfortable. I never told my teachers I was pregnant. I didn't want to be treated differently. One afternoon I was on the way to a class that was on the third floor in the third building. (That place was huge) The teacher for that class was pretty rude and I was late. She chewed me out pretty good I was almost in tears. Then a girl I had known for years yelled "She's Pregnant!" I knew that she was only trying to stand up for me but I felt like she put me on Jerry Springer. We were still in the hallway but that happened to be the only class that the father was in. So he jumped up and may have said something uncalled for I am not sure I was too upset by the call-out to remember. So I continued to class and went to school as normal. I was doing pretty great that year and I never did great in school. Then my doctor appointments got closer together and my blood presser started to go up. I looked like the Michelin man. I started missing school the doctor put me on bed rest. Then my last appointment he said If I didn't have the baby by Monday (my due date) to come in at midnight. He also said not to eat anything after 5pm that day. I am not sure if I was ready for this but it was time. At home I didn't know what to pack I haven't even broken a bone much less stayed in a hospital over night. I remember I packed a stuffed bear my dad had bought me when I was 7. I said it was for good luck....

*Part 3 will post in the morning* 

1 comment:

  1. It was a bit of a blur. I think it all was to confusing to me for me to be scared.