Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Once again PTLsucks!

                    I have posted this once before but some how in the middle of screwing up my blog I lost it. I usually would not re-post a topic but I had a good bit of feed back about it and it is a very close topic to me. Since the original posting on this topic I have talked to many more mothers that have stories very close to mine. Some women did not even think anything about these symptoms due to their Dr telling them it was just PPD or they are getting older. Here is my story:
                  In spring of 2009 I was perfectly healthy at 5'2" & around 150lbs not tiny but active. I had also been a stay at home mom for around 4 years and had a 2 year old so I wasn't out of the house as much as others but I liked to I walk and run sometimes twice a day. From March to September you could find me swimming, tanning and at the park full of energy. I also never had any blood pressure or blood sugar problems. With my first pregnancy I had slight high blood pressure but it was just in the last few weeks. With the next two children I had no problems at all. My third child was born at 40 weeks and 4 days weighing 8lbs and 2oz.
                      In August of 09 I found out I was expecting, I was only worried  about the economy and the fact we have never been very secure with money. But I wasn't worried about the health of the baby due to my last two pregnancies being great. But after 20 weeks I started to have high blood pressure and failed my gestational diabetes test. I managed my blood sugar but the bp didn't really go down. With the stress of baby's health and only one parent working we decided that four is enough. I did some research and knew I wasn't big on taking pills and my insurance wouldn't cover much but it would cover a tubal ligation. I researched Tubal Ligation on Google. I didn't get many bad facts. It was mostly MD sites talking about the process.

I asked my Dr about all of my worries like being able to breastfeed and having problems with my cycle, he assured me it was fine and he does 5 or more a day. So I figured what the heck. I wanted to be able to be with my husband without any worries. I also hate rubbers. I just feel like it is a one night stand or something. I had two friends of mine have their tubes done and they seemed okay. I asked one girl via facebook and she just said she had some cycle problems in the first few months but nothing else. So I went in a few days before I was 37 weeks to have a c-section because my blood pressure was a bit high. The Dr asked me right before if I still wanted to do it and I said yes. ( I am pretty sure you could have asked me if I wanted to name the kid Donald Duck at that time and I would have said yes.) So I went in for the c-section the baby came out healthy but he was a tiny 5lbs 7oz. Then the Dr told H to leave with the baby and they cut and clipped my tubes.
                   I had to go to a recovery room for a little longer than most due to the TL but I made sure the nurses brought me the baby so I could bfeed him. The baby latched but I could not sit up. They took him back and a little later I went to my room. I was given the baby and was all ready to feed him but I became emotional and couldn't feel my legs. They said maybe the spinal block hasn't worn off. I ended up falling asleep and woke up a few hours later and could not move. I took a shower and I seemed to feel a little better. After two days I could sit in a chair but not the bed I was trying to bf and the nurse said he was dropping too much weight and they gave him formula.. I was pissed but in too much pain to care. I couldn't figure out why bc I had already had 2 c-sections with no problems I had been up dressed and walking with others within 24hours. The next day the Dr came in around 6am and told me not carry a diaper bag or purse on my sides but I was looking good. I was lost and still mad about the bfing. A Lactation nurse finally came in as I was getting ready to leave the hospital. She put me on a pump and I pumped some but not like I should be by day 3. I went home with a pump. But wasn't having any luck. I called the Dr and he wouldn't give me meds to increase my breast milk bc they cause depression. Which was another random problem I started to have. I cried all day and night. They even made me leave the hospital with meds but I wouldn't take them. They made me feel lifeless. I had no in between..

                    At my 9wk check up I didn't even see the Dr just a nurse. She said everything looked fine. Yet I was standing right in front of her crying. After 3 months I was still trying to pump but I was having to mix it with formula. I ended up going to a wic office to try a different pump and talk to someone. She said that she has seen many mothers who could not bf at all after TL. So it wasn't just me. I was still only getting 2oz every 2/3 hours and pumping was killing me I had to take care of the other kids and wanted some sleep. I went out of town and forgot a part to my pump. Then it was over. By the time I made it home nothing was happening. I hated it and how stressed I was over it. I also still had a cycle, it was very painful I had never had cramps or anything like it. I figured after I stopped bfing I would feel better emotionally but I didn't I had cramps that lasted a week before and during af. I would find myself eating and taking everything to control the cramps and af. Nothing was working. I literally could not sit up for weeks at a time. My hair was still falling out much more than it ever had. I also never lost a pound. I was still the same weight as I was at 37wks. I felt  bad that I had to take those rx pills just to leave the house. I felt so dis-attached from the baby. I hated my husband and could careless about my house, paying bills or anything. I hated it!

                     Then I started researching tubal reversals and found this site about PTLS (Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome).As I went down the list it all sounded too familiar it wasn't the only site after I searched for PTLS I also found tons of message boards with women asking the same questions I had. I related to over 40 symptoms on that list. Here are just a few I  have every day at 10months pp; hair loss, gums bleeding, headache, dizziness, chills, hot flashes, random rapid heart rate, fatigue even after a full nights sleep, memory loss and constant breast tenderness. I have also personally had my fillings fall out that I had gotten less than a year before. I have constant pain in my bones, RLS, pain in my ears; which I only ever had with pregnancy and problems with my blood sugar, I have sudden burst of sadness or rage which is really scary. I also had people say those are just symptoms of pms or stress. But what happened to me? I didn't even know who I was anymore. I know of one mother who gained over 200lbs after hers, one mother who had to see several Drs because she felt dis-attached from her family and didn't want to harm them, another mother who has also gained several pounds and is constantly uneasy about various issues and she finds herself waking up and worrying about things so much that it has caused problems with her family. Some have spoken to Drs some have insurance that will not allow you to see a OB after the procedure. I really wish I would have not done it I am currently not on medication but seeing and speaking to various people. Yet if I ever get the money I will have a reversal.  
*This is all just my opinion and story*

*Sorry this was so long I could probably write a book*


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