How and when to Break-up

       I know I am not the seeker of all truths or anything but some people really confuse me. You know how when your life long friend lies to you and you trash her whole way of life? (Guilty) Or when two people split up and you tell your bff that you never liked that sorry excuse for a guy anyway. Why do we do that? I have seen it get pretty darn ugly. Things like telling the cops they do drugs, getting them fired, busting all the air out of their tires. 

      I think of it like this. If it was a good friend you had to know she was like that anyway, so stop talking to her and if she never calls you back than good riddance. If it was a relationship that's when things get kind-of tricky. We all start fights and break-up for stupid reasons. You are not perfect, he is not perfect, maybe that's why you get along. But what are some of those reasons. I have a small list of a few reasons and solutions. 

1. You are looking for a reason he is not right. Facebook stalking, driving by his work, asking about some "girl". 

Why?!?! Do you know he cheated? Do you need proof? Ask him! and if he did pack his shit and change your #.

2. Little things. Toilet seats, tooth paste, dishes, trash. 

Are you Martha Stewart?!?! Does he bitch about your make-up all over the phone, shoes taking over the closet, headbands and ponytail holders all over the house? No?!? Then shut-it, close-it, wash-em and take it out. 

3. But "We never see each other". Crying Because you never spend time together?!?!

Are you 13??!?! Most adults have a job, bills to pay and children! So between little Johnny's football practice

and working 7-4 not including the time to get home he never gets time to himself much-less you.

4. He "changed". Looks, actions, weight, clothing, mood.

Have you looked in the mirror honey??!? I don't know about you but after 15 years, 4 kids and a year of hell, I sure have! I look like and old maid, am lazy as a cow, dress like one of those before shots on What not to Wear and am pretty much a B* 24/7.

5. He did it! Cheated, hit you, sold the car without asking, took all your money and ran, etc.

Then knock his ass down and call 911. Then after they pick up his stupid ass. Press charges, show up in court and move far a away. Never talk to his stupid ass again. Never! If you have kids go to court tell them what happened and they will work the situation out to figure out the best plan for the children. But do not stand up for him. 

Either way the situation goes, don't be stupid. Petty fights, name calling, running off with the "new guy" it's all dumb. If you have kids, your children will remember it. They Can her you and know who you are talking about. The next idiot will not be perfect he will still leave the seat up. That "newness" will ware off and you will be stuck with another idiot. 

*This was a post of of humor meant for those crazy single gals of mine who just can't find the one price charming in tin foil.*

However abuse is not a joke and if you or someone you know is dealing with abuse please call your local DHR, police or http://cawc.org/ for help. 

Living the Glamorous Life

      I have this friend who has a sweet job, a cool son and a steady man. She used to live her life through me seeing how I was the first to get married, buy a house, have a baby and so forth. So like a fool she thinks I know everything there is to know about life. So when I call her to speak to someone besides Dora, she starts to bitch about having find work appropriate top and having to get dolled up at 6am everyday. Then whenever I say something like I want a paying job or remark her going out and her mother watching her son. She says something smart-ass like "But then you can't stay home and expect your bills to get paid." or "We can't all be stay at home mommies." Her comments make it sound like I am Betty Draper tossing back cocktails and getting my hair done then after that I dash home just in time for my husband to bring me a new set of pearls and the nanny has dinner on the table. The truth is I haven't had a drink or my hair done in 23 months and I don't think I have ever gotten a gift for no reason at all much less a nanny! Which would sound glamorous to me but ya know between all the soaps, bon bons and manicures someone has to take care of the laundry, dirty diapers & dishes.

        So what do I do all day? Not much of anything, because after I clean up the oj, pick up the pajamas off the bedroom floor, wash the wet bedsheets, feed the baby, wash dishes, clean up whatever random lotion/makeup/marker the 3yo has gotten into, all while holding a fussy baby and talking to whatever random person who just called me like I have time to chat. Then I get to prep dinner, help with homework, cook, watch them eat dinner (for I am too busy bouncing a baby and chasing cups and spoons that fly off the table), bathe 4 kids, wash clothes, get them in bed, feed the baby and pick up the kitchen again. At some point I pass out on the couch just to wake at 2am to feed the baby and get pissed because I see drinks still on the table from last night so I have to pick them up. By then I am too exhausted and annoyed to do anything else! Now don't get me wrong my house is far from spotless, it will never be model home clean but I am very good at fake cleaning and organizing mess.

   I know some people may think, "That's a lot of work, if you was such a bother to you than why did you have so many kids?" I didn't have "so many" kids I had just enough. Any mother would understand that. I love being here for all of my children everyday, having dinner all together at home and not having to worry about having enough sick days to get off  to see their play or honor roll assembly.

The truth is I get a lot of other remarks or "ohs" about being a stay at home mom, like it is such a shock to see a mother stay with her children during the day in the 21st century. I am not lazy or uneducated, It honestly started out as an maternity thing with child number 3 then we moved and it was cheaper to stay home than the price for child care and gas. One day I will get everything cleaned and organize the way I want. I may even get a paying job if my next get rich fast plan doesn't work out. But as for right now I like being a stay at home mom, pony tail, diaper cream manicure and all.