Monday, January 24, 2011

I am a statistic wrapped in a juice box!

      After a whole mess of baby daddy drama we split (I don't take returns). His father and sister saw the baby on the weekends and he ran the streets while I worked. Then I ended up trying to be 18 and went out after work some. Not the smartest thing, but I wanted a life. I didn't get in much trouble but had a few late nights. (I may skip a few things here but lets just say I did it again...) By 20 I had a son and was married. It didn't last long due to him being not ready to be married. So once again I was single but living in my own place with 2 kids and working 2 jobs paying daycare alone. I had gotten my ged because by this time I was to busy working so I could live. Yet I wasn't even bar legal yet!
         
                            Fast forward to 2011 my now half grown daughter is 10 and a honor roll student. She is healthy and knows I am much younger than other parents. I am now married to a man who is not the babies father and my children understand that. We now have additional children, we were in a relationship before I was with the "baby daddy" so he knows most of my life story.

                     But whats was with this crazy-messed up-not so happy- life story? My reasons for posting this out in the open are number 1 I have never really told anyone much of this and I feel better to get it off my chest and number 2 I am sick of seeing and hearing how "Teen Moms" are perceived on television. There are a few different types of teen mothers. I know of a few that never grew up and they let their mothers take custody of the child or keep their baby but could care less about taking care of them. Some choose other options and move on to better themselves and some just do it all over again with the same dumb ass guy. Just last winter I went to the school for parents day and I was the only parent the other 2 that showed up where grandparents. I didn't know why until another little girl said to me... "Me and my three friends have something in common, our dads are in jail and we live with our grandparents." I was confused as was those poor little girls. Seems most of them had been legally adopted and their names changed. So I am pretty happy to say I wasn't a statistic in that area.

                       Now I do currently stay home with my younger children, due to money and I also already feel as if I don't spend enough time with them. If I had an away from home job I would be paying 200$+ in day care a week and my poor house would be in a wreck more so than it is.Unlike the girls on "Teen Mom" my hair isn't professionally colored, I haven't had my nails done in years and I don't buy clothes for myself. It isn't a money issue even though it would be better if I finished school and had a degree. But it is the matter of putting my kids first which is something I will and have always done. I also look and feel twice my age. I still get spoken to as a teenager when it comes to the school or random people who do not know me. I also almost feel like everything I do for my oldest I have to do it better to prove to her and the world that I am not 16 anymore. I am not proud that my life started at 16, I have missed alot of important things. I will always regret dropping out of high school and missing prom, I also dropped out of college because I had to move miles away due to rent. I do miss "home" and being a teen but I do not regret taking care of my responsibilities.

Here are a few statistics from candiesfoundation.org

Fewer than half of teen mothers receive a high school diploma – fewer than 2% earn a college degree by age 30.

Teen mothers face incredible challenges. They are more likely to be unemployed and live in poverty.

8 out of 10 fathers don’t marry the mother of their child.

Daughters of young teen mothers are 3 times more likely to become teen mothers themselves.

Sons of teen mothers are twice as likely to end up in prison.


I just may be a statistic but with this I am hoping some mother, daughter or teacher takes it to heart and talks to their child because mine didn't. Honestly sex was never talked about at home or school I still can't even say the word. I will say being a mom at Any age isn't a walk in the park but as a teen it is harder. I am pretty sure my sons won't end up in jail. The oldest is pretty darn smart when it comes to right and wrong. I am also damn sure my daughters will not get knocked-up because I will lock them in a room until they are done with college and make them wear ugly clothes as long as I can. As for the rest, what can you say. As for me I "chose" the path for my life now I just have to live it the best I can. Thanks for wasting you time here with me. I hope to post on a lighter note next time.
  XOXO

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